This article covers a lot of the things we talked about over dinner a few weeks ago like– letting the kids take risks, not praising too much (or praising the method not the genius) and just generally stepping back to allow the kids to make their own choices and decisions.
There are a few things she writes about that I am not too keep on– like the insistence of schoolwork, but overall– I liked it. A worthwhile read. I posted a few quotes that I liked below the link to the article.
Raising Successful Children
“This may seem counterintuitive, but praising children’s talents and abilities seems to rattle their confidence.”
“The happiest, most successful children have parents who do not do for them what they are capable of doing, or almost capable of doing; and their parents do not do things for them that satisfy their own needs rather than the needs of the child.”
“The central task of growing up is to develop a sense of self that is autonomous, confident and generally in accord with reality. If you treat your walking toddler as if she can’t walk, you diminish her confidence and distort reality.”
“When we do things for our children out of our own needs rather than theirs, it forces them to circumvent the most critical task of childhood: to develop a robust sense of self.”
“It is psychological control that carries with it a textbook’s worth of damage to a child’s developing identity. If pushing, direction, motivation and reward always come from the outside, the child never has the opportunity to craft an inside.”
“A loving parent is warm, willing to set limits and unwilling to breach a child’s psychological boundaries by invoking shame or guilt. Parents must acknowledge their own anxiety. Your job is to know your child well enough to make a good call about whether he can manage a particular situation.”